Right now, Jews are reminded to prepare for Yom Kippur.

Being prepared was probably the only thing about the Boy Scouts I enjoyed during my brief time in the troop. I liked checklists and gadgets and spent more time preparing for an event than the event lasted. Even today, I keep an odd yet very well considered inventory of devices in my knapsack. (Anyone need a whistle? Magnifying glass? Folding scissors?)  Preparation makes me feel more secure about meeting an unknowable future.

Our religion is more focused on the here and now than a pie-in-the-sky future.  Jews dwell on whether or not we're right, right now.  But it's during this time of preparation for Yom Kippur that we're encouraged to consider the year behind us and what might be waiting for us in the year ahead.

I've been blessed to have studied with some very good teachers. And I've also been blessed to have the time and opportunity to read far and wide and deep about Judaism.  But my greatest teacher is, and always has been (and God willing always will be) Abby Johnson, my beloved wife.  Abby is a constant reminder of the mitzvot.  She is a living, breathing Torah for me.  She teaches me that the essence of Judaism isn't on the page but in our hands and our hearts and our deeds.  Abby is the one who bakes casseroles for our friends, tells me to make room for eight more at our Seder table, and manages our household so I can attend the Shabbat morning service and Torah Study so precious to me.  And it is Abby who, this time every year, reminds me it's time to set right my off-kilter relationships.  She is powerfully, appropriately and relentlessly insistent about this.

So I make my list, write my notes, make telephone calls, and do what I can to earn forgiveness from those I've wronged because it is plainly stated in the makzor that God can't forgive us for the wrongs we've done to one another. That has to be worked out in the here and now.  And Abby is a very here and now type of person.

What about you?  I've shared with you what I'm doing to prepare, but what are you doing?  This year, will you wean yourself from caffeine so you won't be incapacitated by a headache during Yiskor services?  (And, by the way, how does your slavery to caffeine improve your health and bank account anyway?)  This year, are you going to second day Rosh Hashanah services because you've heard they're casual and cool and the way you would really prefer to observe the day?  And if you can't take off from work or school to attend second day services, are you completely happy with your priorities and commitments?  This year, are you going to stretch your intellect and test your commitment to the congregation and volunteer to read from Torah?  What does reading from Torah do for you?  What message does it send to your children and parents?  And when you take your seat for services on Rosh Hashanah, will you have a lot of open issues, some of them impossible to close in just ten days?  Or will you be comfortable knowing you're doing the best you can and have no regrets.  What's it going to be?  Don't know how to begin?  Then I have a suggestion. 

This process of getting things put right called Teshuvah and is one of the three special ingredients of the High Holy Days along with Tefilah and Tzeducha.  Teshuvah makes enormous changes in your life and outlook, and it doesn't demand all that much on our part.  Teshuvah means something like "turning" but has taken on a breadth and depth of meaning that makes it one of those great big words that people write entire books about.  What the word does not mean is re-engineering or re-dedication or re-birth, nothing so complex or dramatic or messy.  To make Teshuvah, all we really need to do is stand still long enough to figure out where we are. There are many ways to create stillness in your life including meditation and yoga, like what Melony Bravmann will lead us in on Yom Kippur. You might have your own practice, but it all needs to tune us into what Elijah calls that “still small voice” inside us.  So, stillness is the first part of making Teshuvah. 

Once we figure out exactly where we are, we can start to understand how to arrive where we really want to, need to be.  The good news is that, basically, there are only two directions we can go so it won't be that complicated to figure out.  One direction is yetzer hara, the evil inclination.  The other direction is yetzer hatov, the good inclination.  And it's worth noting that in English and in Hebrew, these two directions share many of the same letters because they are so entwined with each other.  Both inclinations are necessary for us to be people and both are based on things that are true so it can be difficult to always discern the difference.  But at the very deepest level, we remember we are Jews with all the obligations of the mitzvot.  Working from that spot, we will find the right way.

What can we do to increase our discernment between yetzer hara and yetzer hatov?  I found an interesting "workbook" two years ago and filed it away in case I was ever called to contribute something to our High Holy Day communications. (Preparation!) I think this "workbook" is an interesting catalyst for reflection and, energetically applied, can create some interesting transformations in our lives as we approach the Gates of Awe. I contacted the author of the workbook and received permission to adapt it to Congregation Beth Emek's needs and made a few changes. Then I created a .pdf of it and you can download it here, view it here, or pick it up from one of the wall pockets outside the synagogue office.

Some of you might want to fill out the workbook and follow it step-by-step. You might want to find a “Teshuvah Partner" and sign the pledge to help each other.  Gizi Guzent.  But I don't believe it's necessary to take the workbook idea too seriously.   Read through it.  Stand still long enough to hold it up like a mirror before you.  Answer the questions it poses to you in your head—and in your heart—and consider all the different ways your aim might have strayed and what you might do to hit your target.

And please remember this. It's just as important to think about and fix your small mistakes as it is to solve your big ones. The big ones make such a clamor that they make can drown out all the squeaky little shortcomings. And we really need to find those little squeaky problems because, while we must certainly solve the big ones, we are better prepared to do so after we pocket the confidence and experience gained from solving the small ones.  So solving those little problems gets us ready for the really big problems.  …At least that's what I tell Abby when she reminds me about the really big problems I need to solve.